Calling someone dependent in today's world is one of the worst things you can say, we pride ourselves on being independent, being able to take care of ourselves. Especially in America, we don't ever want to admit that we need anyone or anything else to be happy, healthy, and successful. We like to think that the other people and things in our life are all there by our choice and that we have complete control over them and the situations. There are songs, books, seminars, and a whole slew of other things out there to help you become independent and completely self-sufficient.
I was one of those people who claimed to be independent, for several reasons, mainly because I felt I couldn't depend on anyone else. After enough times being disappointed, let down, broken promises, and abandonment you learn from the world's standards that the only thing you can rely on is yourself. You learn not to let anyone else hold the keys to your success, future, or heart; they never care as much as you do. I was always fairly mature for my age and felt the need to "mother" others around me, especially my little sister. My earthly father was never there, especially not when I needed him most. None of my boyfriends or my ex-husband ever protected me or cared for me either. The military was always a fend for yourself environment, from the beginning. The world taught me over and over again that people are just a let down and so you shouldn't put any faith or trust in anyone.
I had a revelation a few days ago that dependence is not the enemy, we just choose to be dependent on the wrong things. God created us to be dependent, we are supposed to be dependent on Him though, not this world or anything of it. We are to be dead to the things of this world and alive in Him; He is the one thing I know I can always rely on. God will never ever let me down, He can never disappoint me, He always protects me, He always loves me, and He never deserts me. The world has caused me to be so cynical about depending on anyone or anything that it made it hard for me to let go and rely completely on God. It's difficult to go from distrusting everyone and everything to putting your everything, all of your trust and life in the hands of someone you can't even see. The funny part is that no matter how independent any of us feel that we are, we will always be dependent on Him; without Him we would not be alive, only He can give or take away breath of life.
So, how do I embrace this dependence and learn to trust Him with my everything. The first part for me was realizing that it's not MY everything, it's HIS everything. I am just a steward of the gifts He gives me, I am alive because of Him, everything I have, had, or will have is all because of Him. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me, nothing I do is by my own strength. When you learn that you are really capable of nothing, you also learn you are capable of anything and everything through Him and so you have more power than you ever had before. It's amazing how giving up yourself, giving up your attempt at strength, it makes you stronger and gives you more than you ever could have had on your own. I don't want to be what this world considers as a successful, strong, independent woman; I want to be a dependent, weak, servant of my Father. My desire is to be useful to Him, to go where He leads, to expand His Kingdom on earth.
Maybe the world thinks dependence is a terrible thing, and I can agree that dependence on this world is a terrible thing and you will most definitely be let down if that is what you rely on. However, I rely on the most high King and His destiny for me, His power through me, and His love for me. He will never disappoint me, and I think depending on the Creator of the universe to take care of my life is putting everything in safe hands. I can't imagine a better place to put my complete trust. So, I am grateful for my dependence on Him, I pray it grows daily, that I give up more of me for more of Him every chance I get.
Thank you for being dependable in and undependable world Lord, you are my rock, my fortress, and my shelter. I love you with all that is within me, with every breath I breathe make me more like you and less like me.
In Christ's Love,
Reed Eden
No comments:
Post a Comment